Today (second iteration)

I attempted to post earlier, but I managed to lose my post, don't know how. Guess I'll start copying and pasting into notepad or something so if I lost the post, I'll still have it to retry.

I ended up calling in sick today. I don't feel as well as I should, I think the true problem is that I'm somewhat hungover. I don't know why, I didn't drink that much last night. I think the problem was that I didn't eat dinner last night. I had 2 glasses of wine and 3 shots of southern comfort. That shouldn't have been enough to have knocked me for a loop, I guess it has to be the fact that I didn't eat dinner last night.

I'm more surprised that I didn't drink more as I watched the republican national convention last night. I was a little shocked and appalled by what came out of it. Touting Bush as the best man for President is somewhat like touting Saddam Hussein as the best man for president of Iraq. The only difference is Bush does a much better job of keeping his cronies in check when it comes to violating civil rights--and he is the leader of the most powerful armed forces in the world. The speeches last night really had no substance to them. They talked about how great Bush is as a president and all the wonderful things he's done, but they didn't really go into those wonderful things. They used 9/11 as the pulpit from which they preached everything, but it's a misdirected message. Most of the fear and insecurity that they talk about is CAUSED by the Bush administration, not by the terrorists. The terrorists and 9/11 were just what Bush needed to turn back the clock on our civil liberties and start turning us into our own police state. Fear is his tool, and he's using it every chance he gets. Scare the hell out of the people and make them run to you for protection seems to be his modus operandi. There has been nothing really concrete done in the war on terrorism save the invasion of Afghanistan--which we are still mired in and unable to bring to closure. Iraq was NOT, contrary to the Bush administration, an extension of the war on terrorism. It was instead a diversion. There were so many lies and falsehoods and half truths that were told to convince us to go to war--all of them more of the fear machine making us worry about our safety and security on the homefront. I say we've lost most of our safety and security to our very own government. If the conservatives had their way, we'd be living in the 50's again with women staying home, people afraid to speak truthfully about their lives, our pregnant teenage daughters shipped off to an aunt's house, conveniently for 9 months, and our environment polluted and destroyed in the interest of big business, and the average american loses his rights and his opinions and walks the path the government wants him to walk. I don't like that at all.

During the convention last night, an Islam cleric from NYPD got up to give the invocation. Amazingly enough, it wasn't broadcast on network television! If I hadn' t been thumbing through channels and caught it on CSPAN, I never would've known he had done so. That's a statement that should've been broadcast out for everyone to see! That's what the muslims throughout the world need to see, religious tolerance. So much tolerance that a muslim chaplain gave the invocation at the RNC (even though I'm sure it was a staged event). Nevertheless, after lots of trial and error, I'm posting the picture of that gentleman here for you to see. It's fuzzy and grainy (had to take a picture of the screen), but you can see him.

Enjoy the day, I'm off to lunch!

Home Sick....

Yeah, right--Sick! I called in sick this morning. I do feel somewhat sick, but I believe it is more of a hangover than anything else. Last night I had a little too much to drink, although I think the largest contributing factor to the drunkness was that I never ate dinner last night. So, I had two glasses of wine and 3 shots of southern comfort, and it took me down for the count. Guess I should've eaten something first. It passed the time while I was watching the republican convention. I should be thankful that I didn't drink more as I was listening to their convention speeches last night. Talking about preying on the insecurity of americans! Giuliani (sp?) didn't really impress me much, he made much ado about September 11, but, in my opinion, he never really gave any concrete reasons as to why Bush would be a better president than Kerry, other than Bush was president during 9/11. Did I mention preying on the fears of americans? It seems in the republicans mindset if you're not a card-carrying republican, you're not patriotic. The pledge of allegiance, where the guy made sure to overemphasize the "under god" portion (as old as he was and as forceful as he said it, I'm surprised he didn't give himself a hernia--maybe that's why he ran off the stage as fast as he could). I was, however, impressed with the fact that there was a member of Black Islam there giving a speech. I was disgusted by the fact that the major networks cut away from that portion. I wouldn't have known he was giving a speech if I hadn't been surfing channels and caught it on C-Span. That's just not right, that man's speech was probably (in my mindset for healing division within the country) the most important speech of the convention! That's what should've been broadcast to the world! You want to fight Islamic militant terrorists, have Black Islamic Militants in our country stand up and say that they support us! It's just another way that the media warps the news to whatever they want. Honestly, I prefer my news with no slant. Give me the raw data and let me assimilate it myself--without your whipped cream and spin, thank you. Now that I've worked up my blood pressure, I need to finish cleaning house and start doing my reading for class tonight. Tallyho!

PS I wanted to include a picture of the speaker (actually the chaplain who gave the invocation) with this post, but I've had no luck finding one. I'll keep trying, though ;)

Time...

...is the fire in which we burn. There is no better indicator of that than tonight. Greg and I had a discussion about philosophies on life. I lean more towards enlightenment, and I would venture that he leans more towards hedonism (egoist hedonism at that). I have done very little of the reading I need to do, so I'll have to finish the rest tomorrow at work. Hopefully I'll be able to get most if it done--God willing I'll get all of it done. I need to ensure that I can answer the questions in the book for tomorrow night's class. I'm just disappointed that Deb won't be there tomorrow night. I'm going to miss her insight and companionship in class. It beats sitting by myself trying to figure out the rest of the people in my class.

Next Monday is going to be a holiday. I couldn't wish for anything better, I could use the extra day off, especially for sleeping in. It'll eliminate Monday morning from the equation; but Tuesday will end up being the equivalent--it never fails how much work pops up after a weekend off, whether it be 2 or 3 days. Hell, sometimes after just a night of sailing and ignoring the world things pop up to deal with. It makes me want to keep my cell phone turned off and not turn it back on.

I haven't finished my reading for class tomorrow night yet. Instead I'm watching the Republican National Convention, and am quite disgusted by it, too. I fear that the Republicans believe they are so moral that they will supress everyone else and force them into a society where arrest and prosection for disagreement with the government will become the norm. We need to turn that tide and take back the bill of rights and our civil liberties. If we don't, we are going to taint our future and bring us back into the dark ages. If we keep up this conservative turn, we're going eventually lose our civil liberties and our freedom of choice--and we'll be a country governed by fear.

Anyway, I'm going to sign off for now. Need sleep....

More Org Charts

Kelly and I plugged away at the org chart some more. I'm attaching another example from student support. It's not the greatest picture of the org chart, but it gives you an idea of what we are going through to get this done. It's sucking my brain dry, and I've been dealing with it less than Kelly has, so she's probably REALLY burned out from it.

As you can see, it's a disorganized organization, if that's possible. We're being asked to do a job that requires over 20 people with just 9. We are being told to find innovative ways to computerize and streamline work and processes to cut people. I have no doubt that there are places where we can cut bodies, but when it comes to supporting students and helping them with their problems and getting their information into our computer systems, it requires bodies. You could do part of the data inputting with computerized systems that read student ID cards, however, that would require investing money into the computer systems (hardware and software) to make it work. As we know, no one has money now, it is all being dumped into the war effort. So we're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Greg went down to the boat to put another spring-line on it because there are remnants of a tropical storm moving through now. I told him I would see him late tonight because usually when he goes to the boat he gets caught up talking to other people down there and gets home late. He called me a few minutes ago and said he is on his way home now. He got down there and started talking to Ron, so he got a late start coming home. I made tuna salad for dinner and it's been sitting in the refrigerator waiting on him to come home.

I've been watching the Simpsons, but I have to read for my class tomorrow night. I have about 200 pages to read, so I really need to start. I'll stop for now and start reading.

Org Chart.......The Saga Continues

Well, Kelly and I have been working on the org chart today...before we left to go to lunch. I couldn't take it anymore, we had to get out of the office for a while. Here's a sample of the org charts we are working on, with some god-forsaken color scheme that LT Cox came up with for us to follow. The colors only cover relevancies for Dam Neck and have, once again, discounted the rest of the TSC (of which Norfolk processes more students than all the other TSC's put together).
It's probably some of the most boring drivel you've ever seen in your life--welcome to my world! It is a sick place, one that pits a mass of babbling morons against a few intelligent people, and SUPRISE, the morons always win (brute force seems to beat out common sense and logic all the time). So, Kelly and I are stuck working on this God forsaken orgchart with no hope for the future, and no hope for reality. You'd think that someone would eventually get a clue, but I'm not holding my breath, afraid I would pass out ;)

So here we are, Kelly should be back in the office any time now to start working on this org chart again. She's supposed to come over tonight if we don't get it finished today so we can finish it before tomorrow. Unfortunately, she probably won't be there until around 9pm or so, which is going to make for a LONG night. No problem, though, that's why I have a coffee pot!

Kim came back from the CO's call for civilians today with the scoop from what the Captain put out. The Captain seems to think that the 5401 will be done in about 6 months. I have mixed feelings about that. The 5401 will either get done by the time Admiral Moran leaves in a few weeks, or it won't be done for another year. I know it is cynical, but how else to you expect me to react to it? We've been revising it for months now and still haven't come to a final product. There was a huge conference in San Diego in May where the final details were supposed to be ironed out amongst all of the centers and TSC's. After one of the most painful weeks in my life we got a final draft to take to the Admiral. Well, it's almost September now, and we are still no closer than we were in May. Makes me worry and wonder about the whole thing. It also irritates me to think that the 5401 has so many fuzzy, not clearly defined responsibilities in it. Instead of telling people what they are responsible for, it says things such as "as required," or "when requested." Hell, that doesn't give you any concrete idea as what you are supposed to be doing in your job. It gives you a bunch of loop holes to blame your problems on someone else. Unfortunately, it is probably us here in the TSCs who are going to catch most of the slack, even though most of the problems will be pawned off by centers who didn't take care of it to begin with and we were just their scapegoat for it. Holding people accountable for their actions isn't always the easiest thing to do, especially when the 5401 gives them a "get out of jail free" card for just about any issue that could arise.

Well, let me quit babbling inanely for now. I'm sure there are things I could be doing other than typing in here, although this brings me much more joy ;)

More Zen Thoughts

Zen originally is not established on slogans, it just points directly to the human mind. Direct pointing is just pointing to that which is inherent in everyone, though in a shell of unawareness. When the whole being appears responsively, it is no different from that of the sages since antiquity. This is what is called the originally pure subtle luminosity of naturally real essence, which swallows and spits out the whole universe, individually freed from material senses. Only by detaching from thoughts and cutting off feelings, utterly transcending ordinary parameters, with great perceptivity and great insight, using inherent power, can this be directly experienced in your present situation. - Yuan wu (1063-1135)

I wonder if the Stoics derived some of their philosophies from the Easter religions? I'm not for sure, but there seems to be some connection there about the separation of our emotions. It sounds almost like the Vulcans from Star Trek. I must confess that when I was in high school I liked the idea of separation from emotions of the Vulcans. I tried really hard to not be emotional, to be very stoical about everything. I have to admit that for a while, I succeeded quite well. The problem is that humans rely heavily on emotions to guide their lives. I have flopped so much, my Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator showed me to by an INFP--Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceptive--a trait indicator that shows my tendencies towards emotion. I guess I can't get away from it. However, I still would like to learn Zen, and learn how to meditate. I think that might help reduce my stress, and perhaps make it easier to sleep at night and improve my attitude. I have no facts or proof that this it will help, but it is a thought I have. Now, I just have to find the time for it--I'm sure I have time somewhere, but I still have to figure out exactly where I am going to get that time. I want to hope that when I go to a ship, I'll be able to find some time to meditate. I just have to determine what is going to be the best meditation for me. There's the thought of Zen meditation, but I also think about catholic meditation. It's hard to make a decision since there is so much from either side that I really like. I'll keep pondering and hopefully I'll make a good decision.

I'm trying to talk Greg into going to bed now. He has to be up early in the morning for his 5-yr physical, but he doesn't seem too happy about going to bed. He's studying the picture of the crab we took trying to determine exactly what type of crab it is. So far the thought is that it is some type of mud crab. Hopefully he'll give up and get ready to go to bed, especially since he wants up at 0430. I don't want to get up at all tomorrow, am even fighting the temptation to call in sick tomorrow.l

Anyway, I'm falling asleep sitting here typing this. Hopefully this week will be nice. It's supposed to rain tomorrow, and I'm actually looking forward to it if it does. I can always use some rain and overcast skies. Don't know why, I just like the rain. I'm going to close now, though, and go to bed myself. Greg will have to decide for himself when he's going to bed...hopefully he makes the right decision.

Another Day of Fishing--11:50am

We're sitting out off of the Nansemond Bridge where the Nansemond meets the James River.
Sue and Greg have been cast-netting for bait and caught some spot and a "corn cobb" mullett--and a bunch of shad, which we threw back (they're protected). I'm still smarting from my sunburn, and I look up and say "Thank you, God" everytime the sun goes behind a cloud. I've slathered myself with sunscreen in an effort to ward off further burns. We're drifting with the wind and the tide to fish for flounder, puppy drum, spot and croaker. W'ere just off of pilings that used to be a bait and tackle store on the water.

Justing seems to be having fun fishing, his problem is its hard to keep him from reeling in the line. His dad has taught him how to be quite chauvenistic. We stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up some stuff. Greg and I went in and left Sue and Justic in the truck to watch the boat. While Greg and I were inside, Justin said to Sue, "Why are you going fishing with us? Boys fish, girls don't." Definitely a taught trait. We told Justin that Sue taught Greg how to fish, which is the truth--both Sue and Ron taught Greg a lot about saltwater fishing. I'm sure he could teach them about freshwater fishing, though.

We encountered a storm while we were out there, and we ended up running back in to Bennetts Creek to avoid thunder and lightening. We drove inland on the creek and ended up cast netting and catching several finger mullet for bait. Greg and Sue brought them home and froze them for striper season. I continued to roast the whole time, save the occasions where the sun went behind a cloud--occasions which I was very thankful for.

We returned home and I took Justin back to his parents and a birthday party at the VFW. Afterwards I went to the store and bought the stuff to make a salad and potatoes and onions. I cooked dinner while Greg cleaned up the boat. Afterwards, we're sitting here watching ENTERPRISE on television. That's about the summation of today. There are a lot of other things that happened today, but most of it is inconsequential. I'll sign off for now, I might write more later, if not, it will wait until tomorrow.

The Boat Saga Continues

We're going back out on the boat today, even though I'm quite cooked from yesterday's excursion. I told Greg we have to stop by Wal-Mart so I can get a hat and some more sunscreen. The back of my neck and the back of my head are killing me! It feels like someone has a propane torch held to the back of them. I put aloe on them last night and it made them feel better for a little while--but when I woke up in the middle of the night, the pain was still there. Every scrape of my head across the pillow woke me up, leaving me with a feeling of not being fully rested this morning. We're stopping for coffee on the way, so I hope that will help.

We're going to the Nansemond and James again. As you ride along in your boat, you can see the area where the water gets deeper, it almost looks like a shadow in the water. Greg thinks that might be a good place to go flounder fishing. I was contemplating staying behind today, but Greg and Sue believe that flounder fishing requires more patience than children have, so they want me to go so I can keep Justin occupied, so he won't be fussy. I just hope I don't get burned again. Anyway, we're getting ready to head out again, so I am going to sign off. I'll leave everyone with a picture of me, assuming that anyone reading this doesn't already know me ;)

Out on the Boat

So here we are out on the boat. We've crossed the Nansemond and are at a place called Candy Island. We walked along the beach on Candy Island looking at the fiddler crabs. Greg is a self-taught--and still learning--marine biologist. He likes to classify the animals he finds. He's been picking them up and I've been taking pictures of them. We found a lot of marsh fiddlers and a few red jointed fiddlers. We also found what looked like a dungeness crab. I took pictures so we'll classify it later.

Anyway, I'm going to stop on this entry, it's too difficult to write on my PDA with the boat bouncing around.

It's 1626 now and we have finally stopped at Bennetts Creek seafood restaurant for a break--THANK GOD! I'm roasted and I'm parched and I just want to relax and cool off. I'm having a Yuengling black & tan as a way to start cooling down. We ordered a pound of steamed shrimp and a dozen little neck clams. Looking forward to eating them, too. Let's see if I can chronicle some of the things that we did while we were out on the bay--not necessarily the bay proper, though we were still around the Nansemond and James rivers.

It's now later at night and I'm sitting her typing some more about today. I managed to get pretty toasted today. My legs are red, my neck is red and I feel it in both places--more so in my neck than my legs. The shower after I got home didn't help much with the pain. I'm coping, though.

Justin has come over tonight and is staying with us. We picked him up on our way home from Bennetts Creek. He played on the computer for a while, and now he is sound asleep in the papa san. Sue came over tonight and she is going to go fishing with us in the morning. As much as I want to go back out in the bay again, I'm not really looking forward to it as bad as my neck and legs feel. Perhaps I'll wear long pants tomorrow instead of shorts, and will ensure that I lather up with sunscreen early and often.

I took 160 pictures today, mostly of animals and things I saw that caught my interest. I took pictures of a blue heron and several white egrets.
The egret picture definitely turned out much better...I really like the way the light is reflecting off of the egrets back. The heron picture is blurry, I took it from further away and the zoom didn't work as effectively as I would have liked. But, the animals were beautiful.

Walking along the beach at Candy Island I took several more pictures. One of the most impressive ones, which may not mean much to anyone else, is a picture of the erosion caused by the fiddler crabs on the beach. The fiddlers will eat the roots of the cord grass, which erodes the shoreline. However, they prevent the cord grass from overgrowing the wetlands. I don't have too much trouble with them eroding the beach, they are a natural erosion method for the beach, not human interference.
There's a lot I want to say, but I'm too tired to type right now. I'm going to stop for now, more to follow tomorrow (hopefully less sun, though).

Early Morning

This morning started early, for a weekend, with me waking up Greg to take Chloe out to go to the bathroom. We are supposed to go fishing this morning, that's what Greg wants to do, but after Chloe came back in, he lay down on the couch and fell back asleep. I've woken him up about 4 times, but he is still there asleep. I guess that casts serious doubts on an early start to fishing*.

I'm sitting in the recliner trying to work up the energy to go take a shower. Chloe has been her normal pain this morning, fortunately she is eating right now so I have a few moments of peace without a small, yappity dog licking my fingers and nipping at my toes.

I'm looking forward to going out today. I plan on taking the camera with me and my palm pilot. That way I can make a post in the PDA and synch it to the computer when I get home. I can even manipulate pictures should I want to add them to the post. Technology can do some wonderful things! Hopefully I'll be able to get some pictures of white egrets and blue herons. There's no telling, because I'm not exactly for sure about their feeding cycle. That being the case, I'll just go out and hope for the best.

Today is supposed to be a very nice day. It's supposed to be mostly sunny with a slight chance for afternoon thunderstorms. The temperature at the beach is supposed to be in the upper 80's and in Suffolk, where we're putting in the boat, it's supposed to be around 90. I'm not really looking forward to it being that hot, I'll just have to make sure that I wear sunscreen. I would wear my hat, too, but I left it on the sailboat at Little Creek.

I guess I need to close this out so I can wake Greg up, again, and get him all ready to go out in the boat.

*Fishing in this sense isn't necessarily out with fishing poles, it's mostly cast-netting for bait-fish and possibly fiddler crabs.

Boat???????!!!!!!

It’s 1617 and I now sit in Greg’s Carolina Skiff waiting on him to return with a battery or something. I say return because the boat battery was dead when we put the boat in the water, so he went home to get a new battery. After his return, that new battery ended up being the battery out of my car. Now I’ll have the privilege of resetting the various electronics in my car—I guess its another one that I’ve taken for the team.

It’s now about 5 minutes later and we are cast netting. I think we caught all of 4 or 5 gudgeon and that was it. We meandered into a small inlet and cast-netted there, but we didn’t catch much—the water was too shallow and the net wasn’t closing fully. Yours truly had the privilege of paddling us out of the inlet, backwards, I might add. WE are now making a trip out through Bennetts Creek out into the Nansemond River with a possible short excursion into the bay (Chesapeake Bay).

So far I have seen 2 white egrets and 1 blue heron. They are both very beautiful animals. The 2 egret were standing in the water, fishing, if you will. The blue heron was sitting in a tree and took flight when we got close to it.

Greg is driving, and didn’t want to listen to me about the channel markers. We are headed outbound and he wanted to take the green markers on our port side. It took Marcus and me both trying to get his attention before he finally turned.

I just saw another blue heron sitting on the shore ‘fishing.’ Such majestic and graceful animals.
1700 and we are stopped again and Marcus is cast-netting. I recommended that we stop at Bennetts Creek Seafood Restaurant and get something to drink, but Greg thinks we are too muddy. I posted that we get it to go; I’m still waiting on an answer. We’ll see :) The answer came as No. Marcus threw the cast net and caught a shrimp here in the creek. It is a tidal creek, but I didn’t think shrimp came up this far—but I guess the tide IS coming in.
1709 we’re back underway. The engine is bogging down for some reason so we’re headed back in. At least I’ll get something to drink now.

CO Meeting Today

Today I go in for my mentoring session with the new CO, Captain O'Conner. She wants me to talk to her like I would talk to the Captain on a ship I'm going to as the Chief Engineer. I came up with this outline to talk around:

My Motto is: "Answer the Ordered Bell"
To accomplish this, I have three priorities. They are:
1) Readiness- 100% readiness both material and personnel
2) Support- Be on top of the game and provide as much support as possible to all other departments because I recognize that engineering is not the most important department on the ship--no department is. We are all a team and we must help each other out. There will be no "us vs them" mentality in Engineering.
3) People- Sailors are our #1 asset and we must treat them as such. Sailorize the juniors and mentor all.

For the troops I came up with this:

As Chief Engineer, I have 3 top goals or priorities:
1) Readiness, both training and material
2) Support- All departments, we're one ship, one team
3) Sailorization and Mentoring- Sailors are our #1 asset

My motto is "Answer the ordered bell" and these three priorities will help us do that.

Readiness:
Training- not rote training but effective training both schoolhouse and inhouse. Train our sailors right, train them well and train them often.
Material- I understand that things break, but we must be flexible and adaptive enough to corrects problems as quickly as we can and fulfill our mission--not only the ship's mission as a warship, but our mission of support for our fellow departments. We should always be striving for the Red 'E' which leads into the next priority

Support:
Engineering is not the most important department on the ship.
Neither is Ops
Neither is CS
Neither is Supply
We're one ship, one team and we all work together. We will support our fellow departments so that not only will we strive for the Red 'E' but we assist the other departments so, as a team, we can win the Battle 'E'. There is no us vs them in engineering.

Finally, Sailorization and Mentoring:
Sailors are our #1 asset and we need to mentor them to make them better sailors, and we need to make new sailors feel welcome and a part of the team, and teach them Navy ways--that's sailorization--but make the GOOD sailors.

Anyway, I have to head out the door or I'm going to be late.

Chloe--The Annoying One

Greg calls her the “CT2000V1”—the Cat Terrorizer 2000 Version 1. She has done an excellent job of that, and has done an even better job of terrorizing me. She poops in the floor! I have tried everything I can think of to get her to stop, but nothing has succeeded. My only recourse has been to stick her in the dog cage throughout the day while I’m at work. If it wasn’t for that, she would poop in every room in the house. I have decided that I don’t really like animals that require lots of attention. I think that is why I’m a cat person. Cat’s require far less attention than dogs and can take care of themselves. They don’t yip and yap every time you open a door to go outside, they don’t leave presents in the floor, they don’t demand your attention continuously. I like that. I’m sure that Buddha and Isis like that, too, and that they will be VERY happy for Chloe to go home. Buddha doesn’t even come downstairs very often. Isis comes downstairs, but every time she sees Chloe—and Chloe sees her and runs after her—she runs upstairs. My poor cats, I don’t know how they’re going to get over the trauma. Buddha may never sleep in the same bed with me again ;)



Greg bought a new boat, a Carolina Skiff, and wants to go fishing this weekend. He told me I needed to get my fishing license. I was going to stop on my way home and pick them up, but before I left work I decided to check on the DGIF (Dept of Game and Inland Fisheries) website. I found that I could buy the license online, so I did. All I had to do once I had purchased them was print out the license. That was very nice. I am nothing but impressed with the services the Commonwealth of Virginia offers to its citizens (and military). You can do just about everything you need to do for your obligations to government online. Renew your car license, buy new license, get your hunting and fishing licenses. It’s amazing! I’ll have to write a letter to Gov. Warner to tell him how pleased I am with the state services.

In all honesty, this post is a test post of emailing my blog to be posted. Hopefully it will work. This one’s for the gold!
More later.

For all of us Catholics out there, thought I'd put this in my blog (it's a safe place to keep it, I tend to lose these things):

A lathered gentleman is in a competitive golf match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy! I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?" Thinking that the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless,the golfer also feels that, maybe, this is a good omen, so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt. Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one." The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?" Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay," and makes an eagle. On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?" "Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle. As the golfer is walking to the clubhouse, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm Satan, and from this day forward you will have no sex life." "Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."

A thought:

We humans don't tend to think linearly like animals.

In reference to punishing an animal for something that it did a day ago, and the animal not knowing why it's being punished.

The third generation of warfare has passed, ushering in the fourth generation of warfare. I don't expect that to make sense to a lot of people, but it does make sense to me. Warfare has changed again. We no longer rely on battles fought by large armies on battlefields, and large navies with aircraft carriers, etc. on the sea. Instead, this warfare is more insidious. Fighters are no longer associated with a country/nation state. These fighters are fighting for their own ideals independent of borders and international law requiring uniformed service members. These fighters wear our uniforms, or the clothes of a normal civilian and proceed to wreak havoc not only on our military, but also on our civilian population. Our people are the target, regardless of where they work or where--or even if--they serve. This war is the fourth generation of warfare, and it is guerilla warfare on crack and steroids. If we don't fight this war appropriately and with the same ardour as our enemies, we will lose. I don't think it will spell the end of the United States as a country, but it will destroy our international prestige and our will to fight wars. If we give these fighters an inch, they will take a mile, and it will be taken in the lives of our husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, sons and brothers. We can't afford that to happen, and we need REAL leadership to make it happen. Not George W. Bush's leadership, nor even John Kerry's leadership. We need real leaders with real purpose, and they are going to have to be the ones driving a policy that supports what is needed to win this war. If it comes down to it, the entire resources of the state may have to be dedicated to it, almost an ultimate war that Clausewitz spoke of. Iraq isn't the root problem, neither is Afghanistan. Instead, the enemy is all around us. They live in our cities, work side by side with us, shop with us in our malls--and we never know they are there until it is too late. They collect intel and plan catastrophic events whose soul purpose is to kill Americans and destroy our will to fight. We can't let them do that. We have to stand up and throw the weight of the entire United States--the weight of the entire WORLD--into this effort. The terrorists have declared jihad...our only choice it to do likewise. And, in my opinion, the only truly effective way to stop the terrorist problem is extermination. We have to get into the refugee camps oversees and into the low income villages where up and coming terrorists are bred and we have to show them there is more to life than being a terrorist. We have to give them something to look forward to other than blowing themselves up in an effort to kill more people. At the same time, we have to find the people who are recruiting these misguided kids and exterminate them. It is, sadly, going to require eradicating a large number of people, but when survival of the nation and our way of life is at stake, I believe it comes down to an us or them mentality. In my mind, I would prefer we eradicate them. Enough on that, though.

Last night was a racing night. We had a perfect start for this race. We crossed the start line no more than 5 seconds after the blast was sounded. We could've done much, much better than we did, but we encountered a few difficulties and some communication problems amongst ourselves. Other than that, though, the French Hen sailed beautifully! It was an awesome race that ended after sunset and we ended up motoring in. I think there was 1 boat behind us, maybe two, though I wouldn't swear to that. There was at least one behind us. The sail last night was beautiful, even though it was just Greg, Lee and me. It was fun to handle the boat without a thousand people stirring around topside trying to figure out exactly what it is they were supposed to do, even though they really didn't have anything to do. It was also more peaceful and less stressful than trying to cater to all of the people who typically crew. To sum it up, it was a male bonding night. I'm inserting a link to a picture from last weeks race, which was very similar to this week, only we had more people onboard.

Once we pulled back in from sailing, Greg helped Ron with his transmission in his boat. Yes, he is on number 5 now, I believe. We didn't end up getting home until after 1 in the morning. That made for a short night of sleep and a very difficult time getting out of bed this morning. I ended up buying Popeye's chicken for us for dinner while Greg and Ron were working on the boat. It was most welcome because 10 pieces were scarfed down so fast it was as though the chicken had been tossed into a school of pirhana. I ended up helping out, too, unwittingly. Greg and Ron were having trouble getting the come-along to lower the engine so they could mate up the transmission, so I was watching and noticed how the lever on the handle worked and recommended that they lift that lever up and readjust the handle. It worked--and I ended up passing the 3% rule (eg you have to be 3% smarter than any piece of equipment you try to operate). With that being done, and chicken being out of the way, Scott from down the pier came by and talked for a while. We ended up discussing network security and the like for a while, and then he took me down to his boat and gave me a tour (he's selling his boat for $42K). He has a nice boat, though the galley is a bit cramped and I don't care for all of the wood he has inside. He has a very nice stateroom, though, and a nice quarterberth. The V-berth isn't really a place you could sleep someone--a child perhaps. But it was, all in all, a nice boat. He pointed out the modular construction and how everything popped apart with a screwdriver to allow easy access to items like the engine and the compressor for the freezer. I thought that was nice, especially if you do the work yourself.

This morning found me not really in the mood to do much of anything. Kelly has already called and asked me to come out to Dam Neck to help with the 5401 review. I declined--the document has gone through too many iterations and is still a piece of garbage. I don't know why we keep revising and rewriting it. NPDC needs to stop sending it out for chop and just make one and publish it. It is frustrating the way we keep shooting ourselves in the foot with items like this, and I don't really want to be there listening to everyone bicker and argue back and forth over a document that we are just going to keep getting copies of for review. I was told that it would give me good "face time" with the Captain and XO. Geez, if I had anymore face time than what I had before, I'd want to shoot myself. I don't particularly care for the new Captain and XO, but that is just my opinion. It seems as though they didn't like Captain MacCrea, and now their whole goal is to destroy everything that Captain MacCrea put into place. I understand that Captain MacCrea did things differently than most, but he DID get the job done. I was frustrated with him, too, for his micromanaging, but that's beside the point. I didn't like the micromanaging, but I thought he was doing a pretty good job with setting up the organization. Unfortunately, the new echelons don't feel the same. So, they are setting about tearing apart the organization and putting it back together in a different way. They've encountered many stumbling blocks along the way, the main one being that they've discovered that Captain MacCrea's ideas weren't flawed with his setup of the organization, yet we are pressing on with their version of it. I think it is just their way to curry favor with the Admiral because they are setting us up for more personnel cuts. We have enough trouble doing the job with as few people as we have, and now we are going to lose more! It's almost comedic the way it keeps unfolding. Soon, we'll have 5 people here to process all students and staff because we will have sold our souls to NPDC telling them we can do it. No one wants to fess up and face up to the truth, so those of us in the lower echelons end up working extra hard to try to bring the things they want about--and all that ends up happening is we get overworked, overtaxed, overburdened and burned out. I guess they want that, though, since the Navy is downsizing.

Well, I've been typing for a while, and got a lot off of my chest. I need to get some real work done now, perhaps I'll vent more today--chances are no, thouogh.

I was confronted with yet another iteration of the NPDCINST 5401 this morning--yet another DRAFT copy of it, that is. Everytime I think of it, I am reminded of the quote from the Federalist Papers, Federalist #62, "The internal effects of a mutable policy are still more calamitous. It poisons the blessings of libert itself. It will be of little avail to the people, that the laws are made by men of their own choice, if the laws be so voluminous that they cannot be read, or so incoherent that they cannot be understood; if they be repealed or revised before they are promulgated, or undergo such incessant changes that no man, who knows what the law is today, can guess what it will be tomorrow." I'm sure someone will take offense to that, but I'm also sure that some of my predecessors will feel lifted up by it.

I stepped outside this morning to take Chloe out to go to the bathroom. I hate to say that she was very annoying this morning. However, stepping outside was wonderful this morning! The air was crisp and clear, the sky was blue, the temperature was perfect, not hot, not cold. I stood there for a few moments staring up into the sky, luxuriating in just being. Once I realized what I was doing, I was immediately struck by the Zen-ness of what I was doing. That lead me back down the path of what is the best religious experience. I felt that same Zen-ness on my way into work this morning. For some reason I didn't feel rushed or in a hurry. Instead, I was just driving to work. I noticed the sun, the water under the bridge was mostly placid with streaks of sunlight flashing from it's mirrored surface. I noticed the trees that lined the road on the way to work, noticed the potholes in the street (well, actually saw and avoided them as opposed to running into them and cursing as my car bounced around the road). It leads me back to my belief that stress is driven by our inability to slow down and focus on things around us. I believe in Zen it is called single-purposedeness (sp?), Gordon Bok called it monotasking. That's something that it would be nice to get back to. Instead, we are in a world of multitasking. We don't have time to do anything except work--and being the most productive society on the face of the planet, we have no choice but to work. I'm not saying that technological advancement and innovation aren't important, I'm saying more that we are a relatively immature society. We focus too much on the material pleasures of life, and forget about the transcendent, those things that make up the far more liberating and euphoric of our human experiences. The societies in Europe seem to be more mature than we are in that respect. They seem to lean more towards taking time off, getting in touch with themselves and their families, and even with the environment around them. That feeds their psyche and their energy and propels them into experiences that we as Americans could only hope to attain. I believe that as we mature as a society we will eventually reach that point, but it is a point we should have already reached. It means that we will slip down the hegemonic ladder, but is that the most important thing in the world? I don't believe so. I think that as humans we are so accustomed to joining into groups of people that are likeminded, and as we get involved and absorbed into that group, we begin to resent and then to hate other people who aren't like us. That is the problem, we should be worried about PEOPLE, not about those like us, but ALL of them. We are all together on this planet, going through the same crises and ups and downs, however we always see the world as "us and them" no matter who the "us" or "them" is. That's the problem, and that's what leads to strife in the world. Until we recognize that we are all together on this planet, and get past the class/racial/sexual/etc differences, we are going to be immature--and if we're not careful, we're going to destroy ourselves.

I'm in the office alone today, everyone else has gone somewhere else. Kim is home sick, Heather took Hannah to the Doctor, and Hank is getting his window fixed that got busted out. So that leaves me here by myself. I'm working on my reading for NSDM tonight, actually watching a CD video while typing this entry. Other than that, not much is going on. I'm tempted to jet a little early today, but I can't because of my class. I guess I could wander out and do something other than work, but I'm sure there is something that I could be doing. Whether or not it is something that I want to be doing remains to be seen.

I talked to Chaplain Johnson yesterday, mostly just to get some problems off of my chest. I don't know if I was looking for answers, or for guidance so much as I was looking to get the problems off of my chest so that I could liberate myself from them. I didn't succeed in the liberating part completely, the thoughts and feelings are still there. But to be able to express them to someone certainly made a difference.

I'll have to end this now, have other things I should be doing.

If you want to attain intimate realization of Zen, first of all don’t seek it. What is attained by seeking has already fallen into intellection. The great treasury of Zen has always been open and clear; it has always been the source of power for all your actions. - Yuan wu (1063-1135)

A quote for today, whether or not it really means anything significant...meditate on this I will.

This weekend proved to be both good and bad. I had fun this weekend, going out to breakfast at Cutty Sark, wandering around looking at boats. That was fun. I also learned to cast net this weekend, that was fun. I know I have this problem with killing animals and such, but at least it was fun to learn how to cast net. Maybe by doing so, I'll start getting into the whole fishing thing. That would make Greg happy, and then we will have something more in common that we can enjoy together.

We were going to go sailing this weekend, but the wind kicked up too much. It might have been nice to, but sometimes you have to cut your losses while you can (discretion is, after all, the better part of valor).

Greg and I ended up having a huge blowout this weekend over stupid, piddly stuff. I have to admit that it was more my fault than his. I guess I just reached a culminating point and had to get it off of my chest. I have to admit that I chose a poor forum for it, considering Marcus was there. I should apologize to Greg for that one. But, let's just put that behind us for now and move on to bigger and better things.

I can't say that I'm really looking forward to going to RI in October. I don't think I'm really looking forward to staying in the Navy, period, but it is a career, and it is going to provide a retirement check. All I have to say is that if they offer the 15 year retirement again, I'm going to put in my paperwork for it. I really, really need to get out of this canoe club. What I really want to do is start writing. For some reason I have this hang-up and can't get myself kick-started in writing. I really should, because it is the career I would most like to do. I could travel and write my travel off as a business expense if I wrote about it. Being a travel writer, now that would be fun. Traveling around Europe, the US, Canada and many other places and writing about it. What I would really like to do is DO things--fishing on a commercial fishing boat, jumping with fire-jumpers in Montana to put out wildfires, walk along the edge of a live volcano with geologists, all kinds of stuff like that, and then write about it. I think that is what I've always dreamed of, although I don't exactly know what I need to do to get to that point. Well, first of all, I guess I have to write--that's a good starting point.

Nevertheless, I am going to try not to be too depressed today with everything that is going on around here, and all I can think about is transferring and going somewhere else (where the misery will still be there, lurking around the corner waiting to pounce on me at the next location). The misery, I believe, most unfortunately, too, is of my own creation. It is in my mind, a part of my mind, just waiting to make me miserable because I'm not doing what I think I should be doing. I guess in reality I am too negative, I've known it all along. The negativity comes from not doing what I want to do, and instead doing what everyone else tells me to do. I feel fettered, shackled down like some farm animal being exploited by the Navy until I am ready to put out to pasture. The only problem is that when I'm finally put out to pasture, I won't be worth anything and all those dreams and desires and fantasies that are there in my mind just waiting for me to explore will be put out to pasture with me, and there they will die with me. It is so bleak and so dismal. It drives me to want to scream as loud as I can, to find a way to get away from this place. I believe it is that that makes me negative, I can't tow the party line because I know that the place it will lead me to is a place I don't want to go--that pasture where my hopes and desires and me all die some pitiful death, another victim of the system. I don't want that, have never wanted that. Charting new worlds, whether they be physical or worlds of the mind, that's what I want to do. To explore, to learn and to grow--that's the rub, as Shakespeare would say. Enough said on that.

I'm going to quit for now, I've been rambling, and I need to get some work done.

Another day goes by, and another day where I'm sitting in the house wondering what exactly is going on in this world. I woke up this morning and I went out for breakfast with Pam and Greg. We went to stonebridge, where I had eggs, hashbrowns, country ham and toast. It was very good, and reminded me of the times I had breakfast at my grandmothers when I was a kid. She always cooked country ham. I loved it then and I still love it now. Not too much else happened other than I came home and made some raspberry sorbet, which I put in the freezer just a few minutes ago. I checked my email and found some emails about G.W. Bush in there, and wish that he would just go away. The man is clueless when it comes to being president--well, is clueless all the way around, but the man isn't worth our time in this government and should just go away. Kerry, well I don't know if he is too much better, but anything is better than Bush at this point, and I for one plan to cast my vote for Kerry when I go to the polls in November. For the first time ever for me I will actually cast a vote and a polling station as opposed to voting absentee, which I have done since I was of voting age (military service does that). This time I will be 2 hours from my hometown going to school, and I plan to leave and drive up there and vote in person. It will make me proud, too, knowing that I cast my vote for John Kerry and did my part to get Bush out of office.
I start my Naval War College classes again on Tuesday, this time it will be National Security Decision Making (NSDM). I don't know for sure if I'm looking forward to it or not. I think I prefer NOT to go, but I understand the benefits for my career, and I will probably learn something in the process. Plus my good friend Deb will be there. I guess Deb being there is the thing that makes it most worthwhile for going. In that respect, I can't wait to go back. Plus, I always liked talking to her about getting GW out of office.
It looks like I may be going canoeing here in a little bit, so I'm going to go ahead and sign off of here for now. In the future, look for another weblog that will detail my life aboard a sailboat in Newport RI for the Winter. That is going to be interesting--yeah, interesting ;)

Today has already started, and I'm not too sure that it has started on the greatest note. I am in a considerably bad mood for some reason this morning. I don't know why, other than the whole training thing. I guess I'm also depressed. I have to go to Dam Neck today for a meeting, but I was supposed to go PT with Greg this morning. Obviously, that didn't happen because of the Dam Neck meeting. But I WANTED to PT this morning, need to because I'm starting to feel so out of shape. I will PT in the morning, but it just isn't the same.
I vented my frustrations this morning to Pam about the training revolution (devolution). I feel so put out and betrayed by everyone in my chain of command. I busted my butt so hard for this organization, and now I'm being tossed aside as though I'm nothing--perhaps a used up has-been. Maybe I am, and maybe that is why I'm in such a bad mood and have been so demotivated of late.
I think I'm going to ask Greg if he wants to go sailing tonight--an evening sail that could relax us some, maybe. I don't know if he will want to, considering tomorrow night is racing night and we are supposed to take the French Hen out to race. I believe Rich is supposed to be there, and Lee and Lauren. I'm hoping that Kelly will go, too, to be a buffer between Lauren and me. That's a story for my journal, not for the internet ;)
I don't really know what I can do to make myself feel any better today--spend the day at home with Greg, maybe? That would be assuming he wasn't off doing some project or something else. Who knows? But, maybe I can talk him into some down time just the two of us away from everyone and everything. Or at least as close to that as we can get. I'm still thinking a nice sailing trip.
Thursday I have a trip to Blackwater for a routine visit. I'm also supposed to go to a hail and farewell that day, but it's tough to be in two places at the same time. So, I've already told everyone that I wouldn't be at the hail and farewell because I have the Blackwater meeting, and also that they have to publish those things further in advance because I can't just up and change on Blackwater at the last minute.
All of that being said, I think I'm going to close for now and get ready to go to Dam Neck. I don't have to leave for a little while, but I should get all the stuff--including my thoughts--in order and ready to go.